One One Hand: You've heard it thrice already before breakfast: I'm Sorry. You hear it in line for coffee, you hear it when you open the door for someone. An arm brushes against you unexpectedly at work or the yogi next to you scoots their mat a few inches to the right to make space in a crowded class. The problem with our over-apologizing isn't just that it cuts down at our self respect and prevents a barrier between us and full ownership of our lives, it's that an abundance of apologies creates a "boy who cried wolf" scenario in which our true apologies are cheapened and seen as less than genuine. How many times have we said we're sorry when it's really just been a lackluster way of protecting ourselves or making friends? If we’re known as a constant sorry-sayer, it doesn’t matter how genuinely sorry we are or how terrible we feel - our sorry is not trustworthy and is deemed inauthentic. "Sorry" has become cheap, and for someone as sensitive as you are, it's become a way to shine a little bit less in the world. On The Other Hand: You screwed up - majorly. Maybe it was a missed deadline. Maybe you forgot about important plans. Maybe you slept through your alarm clock or lost a borrowed pair of earrings. Maybe it was even worse. Whatever the case, you are deeply sorry - yet don't know how to accurately portray how sincere you really are without coming across as flippant, disgenuine, or just another sorry-monster. We've covered the ins and outs of breaking out of over-apologizing - saying sorry as a placeholder or a shield. But what about those times when you actually are sorry? The Balance: You cannot control the amount of other people's sorrys that plague your day - but what you can do, as a sensitive and aware human being, is subtly shift the way you apologize and be the slow-yet-steady change you wish to see in the world. The act of saying "sorry" holds a lot more weight to someone as tuned into their soul as you are than others may realize. Here are a few strategies on how to say sorry for those of us who get hit the deepest by our own mistakes, and want to make our apologies last longer than just five little letters: [olists num=1]
from The Chalkboard http://ift.tt/1om51zW
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment