The Flipside of Over-Apologizing: Here’s Why A Good Apology Still Matters

Last month we launched our Feminine Consciousness series with integrative L.A. doctor, Dr. Habib Sadeghi and co-authors of The Feminine Revolution: 21 Ways to Ignite the Power of Your Femininity for a Brighter Life and a Better World, Amy Stanton and Catherine Connors. The series dissects classically feminine qualities that are often framed as weaknesses and helps us re-embody these traits from a place of power.

For this installment, Amy and Dr. Sadeghi are exploring the art of apologizing and making a strong case for why empowered people should do it more often. Can the art of a good apology deepen our relationships and show true maturity? The answer is yes, and here's the surprising reasons why...

At a young age, we’re told to say, I’m sorry. For everything. For big things, for little things, and for all things in between (I’m sorry I lied to you, I’m sorry I said not-so-nice things behind your back, I’m sorry I ate the cookies even though you told me not to, I’m sorry you fell and hurt your knee, and on and on). From early on, apologizing becomes a way of acknowledging wrong-doing and resolving conflicts.

While this may have been instilled in us at a young age, as an adult woman, the messages are literally a 180-degree shift from where we started. Now, self-help books, advice columns and business coaches are consistently sending us a clear message: Don’t apologize. Why, after all of these years of learning to apologize, are we told not to apologize? Because it makes us seem weak.

It’s true that some women have been known to over-apologize. Sometimes we take responsibility for things even if they aren’t our doing or our fault. We may be putting someone else’s needs and feelings ahead of our own. We are apologizing for things that we simply don’t need to. We’re asked why we apologize for so many things and start every sentence with, Sorry – it’s true, this does seem extreme.But wait, apologizing is another underrated traditionally "feminine" behavior that can actually be our superpower. [olists num=1]

Discover more from out Feminine Consciousness series, including the virtues of emotionality and a surprising case for crying...

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