In the Kitchen With Jackie Johnson McBride: From Studio Lights to Garden Nights

Most of us check the weather to decide what to wear. Jackie Johnson McBride checks it to decide what’s for dinner.

After 15 years as an Emmy Award winning television meteorologist forecasting for cities like Miami, Los Angeles, and New York, Jackie traded studio lights for garden beds and family dinners in Santa Barbara. What started as learning to cook for her kids slowly turned into something bigger. Now, as the founder of The Weather Chef, she plans her meals the same way she once planned her forecasts, thinking a week ahead, tuning into the mood of the sky, and letting the weather guide what she craves.

A rainy weekend calls for a big pot of chili. A hot summer evening means seafood on the grill. Herbs from the garden dictate the flavor of the day. In this edition of In the Kitchen With, Jackie shares how she went from self described “terrible cook” to confident home chef, the ingredients she swears by, and the simple habits that make everyday meals feel special without overcomplicating them.

You’ve forecasted the weather for years. How did that background naturally shape the way you cook and think about food today? I feel like the two go hand in hand for everyone organically, we truly crave and eat according to the weather. My background being hyper-focused on the weather and forecasting makes me just a little more tuned in than most people. And because I forecast a week ahead, I do that with my grocery shopping as well.

The Weather Chef is such a distinct idea. What does cooking “by the weather” actually look like in your day-to-day life? If I know tomorrow is going to be a rainy, cold day and we’re all going to be home, I'll plan ahead for that. For instance, l’ll make a big pot of my white bean chicken chili on a rainy weekend like that because it’s such a cozy dinner. Then, in the summer when it’s so hot, I’m drawn to easy seafood dishes that I can throw on the grill. That’s the origin of recipes like my clam bake on the grill, actually, It’s the ultimate “one pan meal” but in tin foil, so it’s even better because there’s even less to clean up.

How has living in Santa Barbara influenced your approach to food, entertaining, and home life overall? It has such a major impact on my life! Living here, I can grow fruit, vegetables and herbs all year round. That’s a game changer. It makes eating fresh so easily attainable. We also have resources in Santa Barbara that similarly source incredibly fresh ingredients, like the Santa Barbara Fish Market where I can get the freshest seafood daily. I talk about them all the time because I think their seafood is incredible. I love entertaining and my favorite thing to do is dine al fresco, or outdoors. We eat as many meals as possible outside and most of our parties are in the backyard. My home life is so great because I can get out and hike from my house, garden, and get an overall sense of peace just from living in such a nature forward place.

Gardening plays a huge role in your recipes. What’s almost always growing in your garden, and how does it influence your weekly meals? I’m always growing herbs and lettuces, that’s a year-round thing for me even during the winter. My favorite two things that I grow are parsley and arugula. I try to plant seasonal gardens that are very different depending on the weather because that helps change up my cooking. I try to spend time walking outside every day, and that also inspires me about what to make that day, whether it’s experiencing the weather or just seeing what’s growing.

That’s actually how I came up with the recipe for my lavender hazy day beauty balls. I walked outside and thought how beautiful it was to see my lavender growing into my Meyer lemon tree, and then I immediately knew I wanted a recipe to incorporate them together. Our flowering plants and vegetation also inspire me as far as what to use for my daily tablescape. Whether it’s trimming branches off the olive tree, or cutting roses from our garden.

You studied French classical cuisine at Le Cordon Bleu. What’s one lesson from Paris that still shows up in your home cooking? How to get things done quickly and efficiently, that’s for sure. Being a home chef I sometimes piddle around and take way too long to cook something. Now, I’m way more disciplined and efficient and cook multiple things at once. Before that I used to slowly do one thing step by step.

You’re raising kids while building a brand rooted in slow, intentional living. How do you balance real life cooking with aspirational meals? I look at any dish I want to make and immediately start to gauge what I can change to make it a little healthier, but also easier and more approachable for the everyday home cook. It's fun to cook a long, laborious meal once in a while, but no one has time to do that realistically. For instance my halibut provincial bouillabaisse can be ready in 20 minutes, and doesn’t lack in flavor at all. It's probably one of my most flavorful recipes, but it also comes together so quickly. As a mom, I know how important that timing piece really is.

What’s one ingredient you think home cooks underuse, but you reach for constantly? I’m a huge fan of parsley and lemon. I don't think parsley has to just be a garnish, it can play a leading role in dishes. When I make salads I always use quite a bit of parsley mixed in with the lettuces themselves. As for lemon, I really use it for most things. Just a squeeze can brighten up so many dishes and it adds so much flavor. Sometimes people assume “it just needs salt” when it really just needs a squeeze of lemon for the hit of acid, or some lemon zest.

You’re known for your al fresco decorating and beautiful tablescapes. What’s your secret to making everyday meals feel a little more elevated? I think ambience makes everything better. If you just do one thing to make your table feel special I'd say light a candle or use some little battery operated ones. If you combine that with some fresh cut flowers from the yard (or Trader Joe’s if you don’t have a yard) then you’re golden. If you have time, put a glass pitcher on the table with ice and water and some lemon slices.

What do you cook when you want dinner to feel cozy but not complicated? Always soup. Soups are my go-to meal for that feeling. They’re satisfying and there are always leftovers. My current favorite recipe is my saffron halibut soup.

What’s your go-to tip for making simple ingredients taste elevated? I call it the Alice Waters effect: If you have good produce any recipe is going to taste better. You just need good bones. That’s why I take the time to go to the farmers market for things like strawberries or garlic, once you get your garlic from the farmers market you will never get store bought again! As for strawberries, the ones I get from the market are so delightful that for dessert all I do is cut and clean them and dust a little confectioner's sugar on top and the kids go nuts.

If someone only stocked five staples to cook more confidently, what should they be? Good olive oil, sea salt, a Staub dutch oven, a wooden spoon and a measuring cup with a juicer on top. If you have those, then you’re ready to go!

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Living Well with Dr. Robin Berzin, Founder & CEO of Parsley Health: On Closing the Gap Between Looking Healthy and Feeling Well

If you know Parsley Health, you likely know it as the modern medical practice redefining what preventative and integrative care can look like. But behind the brand is Dr. Robin Berzin, a physician, entrepreneur, and mother who has spent her career asking a simple but uncomfortable question: why do so many people look “healthy” on paper while feeling anything but in their bodies?

Trained at Columbia and Mount Sinai, Dr. Berzin founded Parsley Health after seeing the same pattern repeat itself. Patients doing everything right yet still exhausted, inflamed, anxious, or stuck. Labs that looked normal on paper but missed the bigger picture. Parsley was built as an answer to that gap, offering more time, deeper data, and a root cause approach that treats the body as an interconnected whole.

In this edition of Living Well, Dr. Berzin shares what she is seeing most in patients right now, why high functioning people so often feel unwell, and the non-negotiables she personally protects to support energy, resilience, and long term health.

Check out our recent Living Well conversations with Molly Sims and Summer Fridays co-founders Lauren Ireland and Marianna Hewitt, plus more interviews from the series exploring how leaders actually take care of their health.

Living Well with Dr. Robin Berzin

For people who may know Parsley Health but not your personal story, what moment made you realize the current healthcare model wasn’t working and that you needed to build something different? I kept seeing the same pattern. People were doing everything “right,” their labs were technically “normal,” and yet they felt awful. Exhausted, inflamed, anxious, gaining weight, stuck. The traditional healthcare model didn’t have a lane for them because it’s built for short visits and late stage diagnoses, not prevention or root cause problem solving. I didn’t want patients dismissed as “the worried well” when their bodies were clearly signaling something was wrong.

Parsley was my response. Give people time, deeper data, and a connected plan so we can intervene earlier and help them feel well again, stay well, and know that they always have a medical care team in their corner.

How do you explain Parsley Health to someone who’s never experienced functional or preventative care before? I describe Parsley as preventative and integrative care that bridges the gap between conventional medicine and functional medicine. We help people understand why they feel the way they do and what to do about it, whether they’re trying to prevent future disease or they’ve already seen multiple specialists and still don’t have answers.

We look at the body as an interconnected system and focus on the drivers that shape long term health, such as metabolism, inflammation, hormones, nutrients, cardiovascular risk, and gut health. That systems based, root cause approach is what allows us to be helpful both early on and when someone feels like they’ve run out of options.

Some people come to Parsley before anything is “wrong.” Others come to us as a last resort, when everything looks normal on paper but they still don’t feel well. Our role is to connect the dots across systems, bring clarity where there’s been confusion, and create a personalized plan for someone’s long term health.

You talk often about burnout as a biological issue. What are you seeing most consistently in patients right now? Burnout shows up as a full body physiological shift, not just “stress.” I see disrupted sleep, blood sugar swings, anxiety, inflammation, stubborn weight changes, and fatigue that doesn’t match someone’s life on paper.

Many people think burnout is a mindset issue. Clinically, it’s actually a biological issue where the body is stuck in a chronic stress response. When we treat burnout as physiology, people don’t just cope better. They actually recover.

Why do you think so many high functioning people look healthy on paper but don’t feel well in their bodies? Because “normal” isn’t the same as optimal or resilient. Many high performers are metabolically inflexible without realizing it. Their energy crashes after meals, they rely on caffeine to function, and workouts feel harder than they should.

Clinically, I see people sitting in early insulin resistance for years before it ever becomes a diagnosis. Over one in three Americans already has prediabetes, many without knowing it. That’s how you can look fine on paper while your metabolism is quietly struggling. The body gives signals long before it gives diagnoses.

What do you think mainstream conversations about health and wellness still get wrong? We treat health like a collection of biohacks or tips and tricks instead of a long term practice. People tend to gravitate toward the shortcut, the supplement, the gadget, but the biggest levers are boring yet powerful. Sleep, stress management, nutrition, and exercise.

There’s increasingly a lot of data and AI assisted noise about your health that you can easily access now. The next step that actually makes a difference is working with an experienced clinician who helps you make sense of it all and understand how it applies to your health.

If someone feels “fine” but not great, what’s your advice for what to pay attention to first? I start with the signals people normalize too quickly. Inconsistent sleep, unstable energy, and digestion issues. Afternoon crashes, feeling “hangry,” or needing caffeine just to function are early signs your metabolism and nervous system are under strain.

Clinical intervention in that “fine but not great” phase is very powerful because smart diagnosis and small changes can make a huge impact. Don’t wait until you’re truly sick to take your health seriously.

Women make up a large part of Parsley’s patient base. Why do you think more women are drawn to this model of care? Women are tired of being told their symptoms are “normal” or dismissed altogether. Hormonal transitions affect everything from metabolism to mood, sleep, inflammation, bone, and muscle, yet primary care doctors don’t usually offer a real plan for hormone support.

Women are also often the health CEOs of their families, and they’re usually the first to sense when something is off. This model gives women time, data, context, validation, and a strategy that matches what’s actually happening in their bodies.

If you had to simplify longevity and aging well to a few non negotiables, what would they be? Muscle. Metabolic health. Sleep consistency.

If you protect those three, you protect healthspan. Muscle is your metabolic engine and one of the strongest predictors of aging well. Metabolic health shapes everything from brain function to cardiovascular risk. Sleep consistency is one of the fastest levers we have for recovery, inflammation, and resilience.

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In Conversation With Kayla Jeter on Strength, Representation, and Why the Starting Line Matters

If you’ve ever felt unsure about where you belong in fitness spaces, Kayla Jeter understands that feeling deeply. She’s a Chicago based run coach, digital creator, and wellness consultant who talks about movement in a way that feels honest and approachable. Her work brings together sport, mindfulness, and mental health not to push perfection, but to help people show up for themselves in ways that actually feel sustainable.

“I sit at the intersection of so many things,” Kayla says. “Through my content, I bridge sport, mindfulness, and mental health. I encourage people to live their healthiest lives and pursue big goals, but I also hold space for people to be inspired.”

That balance has shaped everything she has built. Kayla’s platform did not grow because of a perfectly planned strategy or a chase for trends. It grew because she showed up consistently as herself, trusted her values, and let the rest unfold.

Building Without a Strategy and Leading With Values
When Kayla looks back at the early days of her platform, she’s quick to say there was no blueprint behind it.

“I didn’t really focus on anything. I don’t really have a content strategy,” she says. “What worked was authentically telling my story. Showing up in line with my values. Sharing the highs and lows. The sparkly moments and the not so great.”

For Kayla, authenticity was never a tactic. It was simply how she lives. “I lead with who I am,” she explains. “The best compliment I’ve ever received is that I’m the same person in person as I am online. I think that’s why the growth felt organic.”

That honesty created a community that doesn’t just follow her for workouts or motivation, but because they feel reflected in her experience. There is room for ambition, but also for rest, emotion, and imperfection.

Redefining Strength Beyond the Physical
Kayla’s understanding of strength has shifted dramatically since her days as a Division I athlete. While physical performance once defined it, mental strength now leads the way.

“My definition of strength has evolved to include and lead with mental strength,” she says. “That came from the resilience and confidence I had to build after athletics. Not even just transitioning out of sport. Life in general.”

She shares that both of her parents have passed away and that she was her mother’s caregiver before she died. Those experiences reshaped how she moves through the world and how she leads.

“The mental strength and optimism I had to build during that time directly impacted how I show up within my community,” Kayla says. “It taught me that we’re better together and that everything needs to be done with grace. For me, mental strength is what leads the way.”

Representation, Belonging, and Why the Starting Line Matters
For Kayla, movement has always been about more than miles or metrics. It’s about access, belonging, and the quiet courage it takes to show up.

Some of the most meaningful moments in her work come from women who reach out to say they finally felt seen. “It’s when a woman of color tells me I inspired her to get out of the house or take care of her mental health,” she says. “They tell me they didn’t think they could run because they don’t see women who look like us portrayed in the sport.”

That insight shaped how Kayla began thinking about community and eventually led to initiatives like 100 Miles of Summer, which reframed running as something expansive and welcoming rather than exclusive or intimidating. What mattered most was not how fast people moved, but that they felt invited to start.

“The starting line is the first invitation,” Kayla says. “It’s choosing to show up for yourself in a space where you might not feel welcome or represented. The starting line celebrates that you’re here and that you matter.”

For her, that moment carries more weight than any podium. “The finish line only tells us who got there fastest,” she explains. “The greater moment is the start.”

This perspective also shapes how she thinks about representation across the fitness and wellness industry. When brands want to do better, she believes the work has to begin long before a campaign launches.

“They don’t always include the communities they want to represent in the planning or execution,” Kayla says. “They might want diversity visually, but not authentically.”

Her experience working with lululemon showed her what meaningful representation can look like. Being supported by women and women of color throughout the creative process, not just in front of the camera, made a real difference. “I feel seen and comfortable,” she says. “I know my story will be told accurately.”

Power, Movement, and Designing for Real Bodies
That same intention shows up in Kayla’s work with lululemon and the launch of Unrestricted Power™, a collection designed for how women actually train. Built for deep squats, heavy lifts, and dynamic strength work, Unrestricted Power™ balances support and mobility so each piece moves with you, rep after rep, without distraction or restriction.

“Unrestricted means limitless and free. Power means supported and strong,” Kayla says. “If something feels too constricting, it caps your power.”

What mattered most to her was how the clothing performed in real life, not just how it looked. “I needed something that allowed me to move in a variety of ways without distraction,” she explains. “That usually comes down to seams and the rise of the tight. If I feel sucked in or compressed, that’s the opposite of power.”

As more women embrace lifting heavy as a source of confidence and resilience, the collection reflects a broader shift in how strength is defined. It is not just about performance. It is about feeling grounded, capable, and fully in your body while you move. SHOP THE COLLECTION HERE

Consistency, Care, and Moving Through Life
When it comes to staying consistent, Kayla’s advice is refreshingly grounded. “Pick a movement you actually enjoy,” she says. “You don’t need to do every trend. You don’t have to like them all.”

She also emphasizes community as a form of support. “Commit to something where someone expects you,” she explains. “Consistency doesn’t mean every day. It means showing up in a way that makes sense for your life.”

Despite being a steady source of encouragement for others, Kayla is open about what she is still learning to carry herself. “Grief,” she says. “Or learning to move with it.”

Some days it feels heavy. Other days it becomes strength. “When things get tough, I ask my parents to carry me,” she shares. “Allowing myself to feel everything is something I’m still learning.”

Each year, Kayla chooses a guiding word. This year, it is legacy. “Legacy is about the impact you leave behind,” she says. “If I’m not well, we’re not well. I can’t show up for others if I don’t take care of myself.”

The Advice She Leaves Us With
When asked what advice she would give to someone trying to feel better in their body and life, Kayla doesn’t hesitate.

“This is the only body and life you get,” she says. “Take care of yourself the way you would someone you love. Spend your time well. People don’t forget how you made them feel. They don’t forget your sparkle.”

And that idea sits at the heart of everything she does. Strength is not about proving something. It is about showing up, starting where you are, and knowing you belong from the very first step.

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How to Manifest the Right Person (Not Another Lesson), According to a Manifesting Expert

We’ve all had the relationship that came with the silver lining: “I needed that lesson.” And while those chapters shape us, growth doesn’t have to come wrapped in heartbreak. What if the next relationship wasn’t a lesson, but a match?

According to Sia-Lanu Estrella, manifesting expert and author of The Rainbow Tablets: Divine Union, calling in the right partner doesn’t start with them. It starts with you.

Many people think manifesting is all about rituals. And yes, ritual is powerful. It opens you to the creative, intuitive current often described as the divine feminine. But intention alone isn’t enough. To truly anchor your highest vision, you also need the grounded, decisive energy of the divine masculine. In other words, you need aligned action.

When those two energies are in harmony within you, you restore your own divine union. From that place, you stop chasing and start transmitting. Your frequency shifts. And what you’re aligned with begins to find you.

Below, Sia-Lanu shares her steps for manifesting a partner who is aligned, healthy, and not another “lesson.”

If you’re new to Sia-Lanu’s work, she also recently shared her Step by Step Guide to Manifesting Your Best Year So Far with us last month, a powerful companion piece to deepen this practice.

​​Open the cosmic portal for this union

Your highest timeline already exists on the higher planes. When you feel the divine inspiration to manifest something, whether a relationship, job change or creative project. It is a moment of your soul remembering your highest path. Because this is woven into your soul blueprint for this lifetime.

So, the best way to start any manifestation is through ceremony. By creating a sacred container for your vision, you are plucking it from the higher realms and anchoring it here on the Earth plane.

Get clear on your intention
Bring yourself into a connected state and feel into what you desire in your partner and relationship. These are not practical things, like height, age, profession or location. Being prescriptive about such things only hinders the universe and could rule out your perfect partner. Rather, what qualities do you want them to hold? And what dynamic do you want in your relationship? Let your heart and soul show you. Then write it all down.

Ground this through ceremony
Find a nice spot in nature, like your garden, the beach or a park. Ask permission of the loving ancestors to sit in ceremony. If you feel it is a “yes”, express your gratitude by offering ceremonial tobacco, cacao or a small crystal. Then cleanse the space by smudging with sage or visualising the violet flame.

Dig a small hole in the ground. Make two more offerings, one to the universe and the other to the Earth. Thank them for guiding and supporting you in this sacred co-creation. Then read what you wrote about your perfect partner and relationship. Breathe it in. Let the joy of feeling that reality fill your being. Next, burn it in a fire-safe bowl, releasing this intention to the universe. Place the ashes into the hole so this vision is anchored on Earth. To finish, smooth over the dirt and lay out a beautiful Earth altar of flowers, feathers or shells. This grounds the cosmic portal of your intention.

Be the embodiment of your vision

Now the universe and Earth are holding your intention and working with you to co-create it. And you manifest this through your aligned action. Here are some ways to embody your highest vision.

Hold your centre
It’s easy to lose yourself when you start dating someone. You might get pulled into their schedule or consistently put their needs above your own. This can result in unbalanced dynamics from the get-go. In divine union, each partner knows their sense of wholeness comes from within. They don’t need their partner to “complete” them.

To manifest your perfect person, first get clear about what helps you stay in your centre. This could be space for meditation and exercise. Or you might need time with friends. Once you know what keeps you in your highest frequency, hold loving boundaries around this in all aspects of your life. This shift in your embodiment will change who you attract.

Start living your fullest life now
Many fall into the trap of waiting to live their highest expression until they meet the right person. They might feel called to visit Hawai’i, take a cooking class or even sky dive. Yet they put it off until they have a partner. What if their souls were calling them to these things because that’s where they would meet the right person? What if an amazing opportunity awaited?

The universe works in flow. But the state of waiting creates stagnancy and lowers your timeline. Trust that once you have anchored your intention through ceremony, the universe is weaving its magic to support you. And bring your focus back to cultivating your most joyful and inspired life now. Follow what lights up your soul. Not only will you awaken the magic in the moment, but your elevated frequency will pave the pathway to your right partner.

See the human embodiment
Many of us have grown up with notions of finding “the one”, “the soul mate” or “the twin flame”. Yet spiritual labels bring heavy expectations. This can be enough to break any relationship. Or worse, they can be the reason people stay in toxic situations.

To fast-track your manifestation, let go of spiritual labels and meet potential partners for who they are. Stay grounded and get to know them. And if you fall in love, let it be with who they are rather than falling in love with their potential. With this approach, you will easily weed out the “lessons” and instead call in your highest aligned partner.

Continue your expansion
We all know the saying, “You meet the one when you stop looking.” It’s because the happier you are in your life, the higher your frequency. And the higher your frequency, the more effortless it becomes to manifest.

So, continue your expansion. Heal the hurts and keep awakening the magic. This might be through empowering programs or a retreat. Or through inspiring podcasts and books that light up your soul. A great place to start is The Rainbow Tablets: Divine union.

Most of all, remember that you are the true creator of your life. And you can have all that your heart desires.

 

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What to Do When Stress Is Creating Distance in Your Relationship According to a Therapist

Stress has a way of showing up where it matters most. It shifts our tone, shortens our patience, and makes small moments feel heavier than they are. Over time, chronic stress does more than overwhelm us. It quietly changes how we communicate, connect, and respond in our closest relationships.

To unpack what is really happening beneath the surface, we spoke with Erin Pash, LMFT, founder and CEO of Pash Co and one of our frequent contributors. In her work with individuals and couples, Erin sees firsthand how unregulated stress impacts emotional availability, conflict, and intimacy.

If you missed her previous piece on emotionally unavailable partners, it’s worth reading.

Here, she explains how stress reshapes the way we show up in love and shares practical ways to regulate and reconnect before it creates distance.

From a therapist’s perspective, how does chronic stress typically show up in relationships? It almost never shows up the way people expect. Most couples do not walk into my office saying "we're stressed." They say "we're not connecting," or "we fight about nothing," or "I feel like roommates with someone I used to be crazy about." Chronic stress is sneaky like that. It disguises itself as relationship problems when really your nervous system has been in survival mode so long that connection has become a luxury it cannot afford.

When your brain is stuck in fight or flight, it triages. It decides what is essential for survival and cuts everything else. Unfortunately, emotional attunement, patience, curiosity about your partner, and sexual desire are among the first things to go. You are not falling out of love. Your body is just trying to keep you alive, and tenderness is not on the priority list.

What’s the difference between everyday stress and chronic stress when it comes to connection? Everyday stress is a bad day at work. You come home cranky, you vent, you decompress, you bounce back. Your nervous system spikes and then returns to baseline. Chronic stress is when your baseline shifts, when your body forgets what "calm" feels like and starts treating hypervigilance as the new normal.

That distinction matters enormously for relationships. With everyday stress, couples can absorb the hit. One person has a rough day, the other holds a little more space, and the system rebalances. With chronic stress, there is no rebalancing. Both people are running on empty, and the relationship becomes the place where depleted people go to demand from each other what neither one has to give. It is not a connection problem. It is a capacity problem.

Why do stressed people often come across as distant, irritable, or emotionally unavailable? Because their nervous system is prioritizing threat detection over connection. When you are chronically stressed, your amygdala, your brain's alarm system, is running hot, scanning for danger in everything, including your partner's tone of voice, a poorly worded text, or the way they loaded the dishwasher. Things that would not normally register become threats.

Irritability is your nervous system saying "I'm overwhelmed and I have no bandwidth." Distance is a protective response, your brain pulling you inward because engaging with another person requires emotional resources you have already spent. Emotional unavailability is not a character flaw in this context. It is a stress response. That does not mean it does not hurt your partner. It absolutely does. But understanding the mechanism changes how you respond to it, with curiosity instead of criticism.

How does chronic stress affect intimacy? On every level. Emotionally, stressed people lose access to vulnerability, and vulnerability is the foundation of intimacy. You cannot open up to your partner when your body thinks it needs to stay guarded. Physically, chronic stress elevates cortisol and suppresses the hormones responsible for desire and arousal. Low libido under chronic stress is not a mystery. It is basic biology. Your body is not going to prioritize reproduction when it thinks it is under siege.

There is also the issue of touch itself. When your nervous system is dysregulated, even well intentioned touch can feel like a demand rather than comfort. The partner reaching for connection reads the withdrawal as rejection, and suddenly you have two people feeling alone in the same room. It is one of the most painful cycles I see in couples, both people wanting closeness, neither one able to access it.

What relationship patterns do you see most often when stress is left unaddressed? The pursuer withdrawer cycle is the big one. One partner chases connection by talking more, asking questions, expressing frustration, while the other retreats to manage their overload. The more one pursues, the more the other withdraws, and both people feel completely justified in their position. The pursuer feels abandoned. The withdrawer feels suffocated. Nobody wins.

I also see parallel living, couples who stop fighting entirely because they have stopped engaging entirely. They coexist. They manage logistics. They parent. But the emotional thread between them has gone quiet. People often think this is fine because at least they are not arguing, but silence can be more damaging than conflict. At least conflict means you still care enough to fight. I also see misplaced blame, where stress from work, finances, health, or family gets funneled into the relationship because your partner is the safest target.

How does stress contribute to conflict cycles like shutdown, defensiveness, or blame? Stress shrinks your window of tolerance, the emotional bandwidth you have to handle difficult things without losing it. When that window is narrow, your partner saying "you forgot to take out the trash" lands like "you are a failure as a human being." Your brain skips the rational processing step and goes straight to defense.

Defensiveness is a protection response. Your system perceived an attack and mobilized. Blame is an attempt to discharge uncomfortable feelings by externalizing them. If it is your fault, then I do not have to sit with the pain of my own inadequacy. Shutdown is your nervous system's emergency brake, when the system is so flooded it literally goes offline. None of these are choices people make consciously. They are stress responses happening faster than your prefrontal cortex can intervene. That is why "just communicate better" is terrible advice without first addressing nervous system regulation.

How can someone calm their nervous system before engaging in a difficult conversation? The simplest and most effective thing is to slow your exhale. Breathe in for four counts, out for six to eight. Longer exhales activate your parasympathetic nervous system, the branch responsible for rest and connection. Do this for two minutes before the conversation. It sounds almost too simple, but your body cannot be in fight or flight and relaxation mode simultaneously.

Beyond breathing, give yourself a physical reset. Splash cold water on your face, press your feet firmly into the ground, or put your hand on your chest and feel your own heartbeat. These are grounding techniques that pull your brain out of threat mode and into the present moment. And if you notice mid conversation that you are flooding, heart racing, jaw clenching, thoughts spiraling, it is not just okay to take a break, it is essential. Say "I need twenty minutes to calm down so I can actually hear you." That is not avoidance. That is emotional intelligence.

What’s the most helpful way to support a partner who is overwhelmed? Resist the urge to fix. I know that is hard, especially if you are a problem solver by nature, but an overwhelmed person usually does not need solutions. They need to feel like someone sees that they are drowning. Start with validation. "That sounds like a lot. I can see why you're stressed." That one sentence does more than fifteen minutes of advice.

Then ask what they actually need, because you might be guessing wrong. "Do you need me to listen, help you problem solve, or just sit here with you?" That question gives them agency when everything else feels out of control. And here is the one nobody wants to hear, sometimes supporting a stressed partner means managing your own emotional reaction to their stress. Their withdrawal is not about you. Their irritability is not about you. Holding that boundary internally, not taking it personally while still holding them accountable for how they treat you, is one of the hardest and most important relationship skills there is.

What’s one small change that can immediately improve connection under stress? Intentional transitions. Most couples have zero buffer between the stress of their day and engaging with each other. You walk in the door still carrying the weight of every email, meeting, and frustration, and you are supposed to suddenly be an emotionally present partner. That is an unfair expectation.

Build in a transition ritual. It can be ten minutes alone when you get home. A two minute check in where you each rate your stress level on a scale of one to ten so your partner knows what they are walking into. A six second kiss, research actually shows that a six second kiss is long enough to trigger a neurochemical shift toward connection. It does not have to be elaborate. It just has to be intentional. Stress will always be part of life. The couples who last are not the ones who avoid stress. They are the ones who build small, consistent rituals that keep the connection alive underneath it.

What advice do you give most often to couples navigating chronic stress? Stop treating your relationship like it is the last thing on the list that gets your leftover energy. I see this constantly, people give their best selves to their jobs, their kids, their obligations, and then hand their partner the exhausted scraps and wonder why the relationship is struggling. Your relationship is not a rubber band that just bounces back. It is a living thing that needs tending.

I also tell couples to stop keeping score. Chronic stress makes everything feel inequitable, and when both people are depleted, the "I do more than you" argument becomes a race to the bottom. Instead, shift from scorekeeping to a team mentality. It is not you against each other. It is both of you against the stress.

And finally, regulate before you relate. You cannot have a productive conversation, repair a rupture, or build intimacy from a dysregulated nervous system. Learn what calms you. Practice it daily. Make it as non negotiable as brushing your teeth. The relationship you are trying to save requires two regulated humans at the table. Everything else comes after that.

The post What to Do When Stress Is Creating Distance in Your Relationship According to a Therapist appeared first on The Chalkboard Mag.

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The Modern Valentine’s Day Gift Edit

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to mean predictable roses or last minute chocolates. This year, we’re leaning into gifts that feel thoughtful, lasting, and genuinely special. From cozy cashmere and timeless jewelry to elevated beauty essentials and design forward home pieces, these are the Valentine’s Day finds we’d happily give and gladly keep. Whether you’re shopping for a partner, a friend, or yourself, consider this your edit of modern love notes that go well beyond Valentine’s Day. 

Jenni Kayne Peyton Cardigan

In ultra luxe brushed cashmere, the Peyton Cardigan brings a soft, feminine touch to everyday dressing. With its subtle puff sleeve and fluffy, cloud like feel, it strikes that perfect balance between cozy and refined. We love it styled with tailored pants or a pleated skirt for an effortless look that feels polished but never fussy. Shop Here. 

La Bonne Brosse N.01 The Shine and Care Hair Brush

This chic pink brush is more than just a pretty vanity moment. Crafted with boar bristles and 100 percent keratin fibers, it helps distribute natural oils from root to tip, smoothing the hair cuticle and enhancing shine over time. It is the kind of beauty gift that feels indulgent but actually delivers real results. Shop Here. 

Jennifer Meyer Diamond Tennis Bracelet with Pink Sapphire Accent

A timeless classic with a romantic twist. Handcrafted in 18 karat yellow gold and set with brilliant cut diamonds, this tennis bracelet is accented with a striking pink sapphire at the center. It feels special without trying too hard and is the kind of piece that will be worn and loved for years. Shop Here. 

Trudon Rose Poivrée Candle

Created in collaboration with Giambattista Valli, this special edition candle blends lush rose with a subtle hint of Tuscan black pepper for an unexpected edge. Inspired by Marie Antoinette’s love of roses, it is romantic, elegant, and quietly dramatic in the best possible way. Shop Here. 

Venus et Fleur Preserved Roses in the Terre Travertine Vase

Fresh flowers, but make them forever. These real roses are preserved to last over a year and double as elevated home decor. We especially love the Terre Travertine Vase for its modern, sculptural feel. It is a beautiful alternative to traditional Valentine’s florals and one that keeps giving long after the day has passed. Shop Here. 

Lunya Washable Silk Tulip Back Set

This is the set people mean when they talk about beauty sleep. Made from washable mulberry silk with a flattering tulip back design and naturally thermoregulating properties, it keeps you comfortable all night long. Effortless, elegant, and designed to move with you. Shop Here. 

Caraway Knife and Utensil Prep Set

A modern kitchen essential that actually looks good on the counter. This non toxic prep set includes thoughtfully designed knives, utensils, and a smart modular storage system that keeps everything organized. A great gift for anyone who loves to cook or is building their dream kitchen. Shop Here. 

Jaymes Paper Love Collection Set No. 04

A beautifully designed set of four love themed cards that feels personal and intentional. Perfect for handwritten notes, Valentine’s messages, or just because moments. Sometimes the simplest gestures are the most meaningful. Shop Here. 

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Inside The Class: A Conversation on Somatic Movement and Release with Taryn Toomey

There’s a reason The Class tends to stay with people long after they’ve taken it. It’s not just the physical intensity or the music. It’s the way the experience lands internally, often in places people didn’t realize they were holding anything at all. For Taryn Toomey, that depth is familiar, even if the language around it isn’t always straightforward.

“This has always been a hard one for me,” she says when asked to describe The Class. “To me, it’s a ceremony, but I know that word gets lost on many.” When she explains it more practically, the framing becomes grounded and clear. “It’s a music driven, cathartic workout where we exercise the body to steady the mind and open the heart. We burn a fire to get the sludge out so you can feel free.”

That balance between physical effort and internal awareness has defined The Class since it began in 2011. People arrive to move their bodies, but what they often leave with is a deeper sense of presence and release, without being asked to perform or perfect anything along the way.

This conversation is part of Chalkboard’s In Conversation series, featuring discussions with thought leaders on specific topics in wellness and personal practices. For more from the series, explore In Conversation: What Human Design Reveals About Energy, Timing, and Trust with Amy Lea.

Letting the Work Be Specific

Turning something intuitive into a real business required a different kind of discipline. For Toomey, the challenge wasn’t logistics or growth. It was learning to let the work remain specific rather than universally appealing.

“Accepting that the energy I move doesn’t need to resonate with everyone,” she says. That realization became foundational, shaping how The Class evolved and allowing it to grow without dilution. Instead of trying to explain or soften the experience, she stayed close to what felt true and trusted the community to form naturally around it.

That choice continues to define the work today. The Class doesn’t aim to be everything to everyone. It offers a clear experience and lets people decide if it’s for them.

Why It Has Nothing to Do with How You Look

One of the first assumptions many people bring into the room is that the experience will be about how they look or how well they execute the movements. Toomey is quick to correct that expectation.

“The biggest misconception is that it has anything to do with how you look,” she says. Instead, attention moves inward. She guides people to track sensation rather than perfect movement, shifting the focus from form to awareness. “When people actually feel sensation, they become more connected to the body,” she explains. “Presence becomes easier to access, which allows for deeper integration.”

The practice isn’t about getting anything right. It’s about staying with what’s happening and letting the body lead the experience rather than the mirror or the mind.

When Breakthroughs Happen

There’s no fixed timeline for when something shifts during class. For some people, it takes time. For others, it happens almost immediately.

“Generally about a third of the way in,” Toomey says. “But sometimes the first beat hits people right away.” What determines that moment varies. “It really depends on how long someone has been practicing embodiment and what energy they’re working with that day.”

That variability is part of the work. The experience meets people where they are, rather than pushing them toward a predetermined emotional or physical outcome.

Music as the Structure

Music plays a central role in shaping the experience. It isn’t background or motivation layered on top of the movement. It’s the structure that carries the class from start to finish.

“It’s about the tapestry of the playlist,” Toomey says. “It’s not about one song.” She thinks in arcs rather than moments, describing the flow as “deep diving and high expansion.” The music supports both regulation and release over time, without forcing either.

The result is an experience where sound and movement work together, guiding the body without overpowering it.

Who The Class Is For

The Class tends to resonate with people who want to move without being told what their bodies should look like and who are open to paying attention to what they feel. Some come with years of embodiment practice behind them, while others are encountering this kind of work for the first time.

As Toomey puts it, the experience meets people based on “how long someone has been practicing embodiment and what energy they’re working with that day.” There’s no right place to start and no expectation to arrive at a certain level.

Bringing the Practice Into Everyday Life

The principles of The Class aren’t meant to stay contained within the studio. When asked how people can bring the practice into daily life, Toomey keeps it simple and physical.

“Soften the tops of your shoulders,” she says. “Notice when you’re stuck in a loop of thinking and interrupt it with breath. Flutter out your lips. Sigh loudly.” One of the cues she returns to most is placing a hand on the heart. “Stay there,” she says. “Speak from that place.”

These cues offer small ways to return to the body throughout the day, without needing a formal practice or set amount of time.

How the Work Shows Up in Her Own Life

Supporting herself starts with consistency. Meditation is Toomey’s non negotiable, whether it happens in the morning or the evening. Her supplement routine is equally straightforward and supportive: a probiotic, vitamin B, vitamin D, fish oil, and magnesium at night. When it comes to burnout, her advice is practical and unambiguous. “Sleep,” she says. “Replace the word sleep with repair.” For her, that means preparing well before bedtime. “Two hours before bedtime, start preparation. Buy an alarm clock and put your phone in another room.”

Over time, building and teaching The Class has also changed how she relates to herself internally. “I’ve gotten in a really close relationship to the young parts of myself that come online when I’m activated,” she says. That awareness now shows up daily. “I have much faster access to them,” she adds. “I try to love them well.” It’s a way of caring for herself that mirrors the work she offers others, rooted in attention, regulation, and staying present rather than pushing through.

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